DunderMifflinDetroit

Things I do every day

2009-10-22T12:54:00.002-04:00

1. Scream unadulterated horrifying things in my head and smile outwardly.

2. Coffee. (we all do it)

3. Pick my nose. (we all do it)

4. Try to remember what pair of pants I wore yesterday.

5. Wear the same pair of pants as yesterday.

Sites lately

2009-07-10T14:11:00.002-04:00

Here are some sites lately that have helped me pass the time:

1. http://www.textsfromlastnight.com/

2. http://www.amazon.com/Three-Official-T-Shirt-Cotton-Sleeve/product-reviews/B000NZW3IY/ref=cm_cr_dp_all_helpful?ie=UTF8&coliid=&showViewpoints=1&colid=&sortBy=bySubmissionDateDescending (read the reviews)

3. http://soccernet.espn.go.com/?cc=5901 - this is an everyday visit for me

4. http://blogs.usatoday.com/popcandy/

Coffee

2009-04-30T15:38:00.002-04:00

1. Tim Horton's
2. Dunkin Donuts
3. Starbuck's Pike Place
4. Caribou Obsidian
5. McDonalds
6. Coffee Bean (local place) Motor City blend

Root Beers

2009-03-11T10:29:00.002-04:00

1. Goose Island
2. IBC
3. Barq's
4. A&W (I am not a huge of this brand - heresy I know - but it is kind of flat.
5. The now defunct Bonfire Brewery

*I do have to try the new Liberty Street Brewery's batch of root beer

Working out

2009-02-11T16:28:00.002-05:00

Here are some fun things about working out at o'dark:30:

1. my obese ex-professor who is always nude in the locker room. awesome.

2. staring out the window at the dark- keeps me occupied for an hour on the ellipitical

3. showering in awful water, double awesome

4. the faculty member who, when she runs on the treadmill, stomps like a grape crusher.

Matches you need to watch tomorrow

2009-02-10T16:10:00.003-05:00

1. United States vs. Mexico (speaks for itself)

2. Brazil vs. England (conflicting styles will be entertaining)

3. France vs. Argentina (never met in major competition, only friendlies)

Lions draft wishes

2009-02-06T16:00:00.002-05:00

Please, Detroit Lions football club, draft:
1. o-linemen.
2. o-linemen.
3. o-linemen.

Maybe, if you have a pick to spare: o-linemen.

Actor's I'm enjoying lately

2009-01-26T08:11:00.000-05:00

Jaime Bell
Richard Jenkins
Philip Seymour Hoffman
Ciaran Hinds

movies watched lately (in particular order)

2009-01-23T15:45:00.002-05:00

Last King of Scotland
The Visitor
The Reader
The Wrestler
Doubt

All are worth seeing.

Chelsea 0 - Man U 3

2009-01-14T12:03:00.002-05:00

What I enjoyed about the big match last weekend:

1. Ryan Giggs - he showed why he is still a valuable piece of the puzzle. Buzzing around the midfield, picking off passes, distributing well, it was fun to watch a master at work.

2. Patrice Evra - He was up and down the left side all day until he got hurt. He is the reason Man U could get rid of Heinze and I love him.

3. Berbatov's finish - the man is so clinical and so, so, so good.

4. Rooney's finish - Ashley Cole did everything you are supposed to do as a marking back on service. Got his body between the goal and the player, eye on the ball, shield appropriately, and Rooney puts his foot between his legs and scores. Couldn't happen to bigger turd.

5. The uninspired play of Chelsea's midfield. My girlfriend is a soccer novice, but learning, and even she knew 3/4 of their midfield. Big names, small showing. It was funny.

entertainment lately

2009-01-07T15:15:00.002-05:00

Albums I've enjoyed:
The Kills - Midnight Boom
Kings of Leon - Only by the Night
Saul Williams - The Inevitable Rise and liberation of Niggy Tardust

Books:
I love you Beth Cooper by Larry Doyle
Supreme Courtship by Christopher Buckley

Movies:
Chalk
Numb
Doubt

People that make me laugh instantly

2008-12-23T14:49:00.002-05:00

1. Ricky Gervais

2. Louis CK

3. Mark Djokaj

4. Alec Baldwin being Jack Donaghy

Students are gone

2008-12-18T12:49:00.002-05:00

I work on a university campus and the students just took finals and are now gone, what I like or miss about the situation:

1. No lines at the coffee places, now I have to make choices. Cripes.

2. No panicking first year students stressing over finding a blue book.

3. Gym is less crowded.

4. Getting off campus is way easier.

5. Who cares, I don't work here for the students.

Christmas Shopping

2008-12-15T11:41:00.002-05:00

One of the few things I loathe in life is Christmas shopping. I say that, but instead of doing it all online, I go out and congregate with the masses at the outlets in Birch Run and try not to assault anyone. Whatever, here is a list of what I enjoyed about that trip this weekend.

1. Dixie Dave Minar's Dixie Inn - a wild game restaurant that sometimes, if you catch them at the right time, serves lion. YES, lion. I had wild boar and black bean soup and one of the best burgers I have ever eaten. No website, but the link takes to a map.

2. Crying kids, never gets old.

3. Fat kids. Nothing funnier than fat kids and farts. If a fat kid farts, it's the apocalypse.

4. Pursed lip parents with that "You want presents this year? You'll get nothing and LIKE IT!" Happy Holidays.

5. The Adidas outlet. Shangri-La.

Michigan/Duke

2008-12-09T08:12:00.003-05:00

I was fortunate to attend the Michigan/Duke basketball game in which Michigan upset Duke. what I enjoyed:

1. First time seeing students storm a floor, that was neat. Poor kids had nothing to cheer about in football.

2. CrislerArena sucks. But the noise was awesome.

3. Standing ovation for Lloyd Carr. Seriously, a standing ovation. For what?

4. Tricycle race at halftime.

5. Got to eat at the Blue Tractor afterwards.

Favorite YouTube videos of the week

2008-11-14T08:37:00.004-05:00

1. Katt Williams - Hustlin' - I'm a librarian and he imitates one. Fantastic.

2. Mike Gundy - "I'M A MAN! I'M FORTY!" The 2:20 mark starts the fantasticness.

3. Best Indoor Goal Ever - Watch the goalie.

4. Post/Face - I could watch this over and over again.

5. Jim Gaffigan's Hot Pocket bit.

6. The genius of Jack Lemmon. It is a build up and so worth it.

New Bands I'm debating in my head

2008-11-06T13:49:00.001-05:00

1. Knux

2. Atmosphere

3. Fleet Foxes

4. Aesop Rock

Favorite shows I'm watching at work or home

2008-10-23T15:01:00.001-04:00

1. Dexter

2. Sons of Anarchy

3. House

4. Prison Break

5. Californication

Things I find attractive lately

2008-10-20T13:23:00.002-04:00

1. center midfielders making vertical runs out of the middle onto perfectly lofted through balls.

2. boots on women that make the boot on cement noise

3. women listening to iPods.

4. teachers that care

5. Deep dish pizza.

injuries suffered in my u9 practice yesterday

2008-10-08T11:45:00.003-04:00

1. ball to the bathing suit area

2. three whacks to the same shin

3. five cracks on my lifelong horrible ankle

4. one random punch in the back

5. one bruised ego after getting 'megged twice by the same player

What I like about being sick

2008-10-07T09:14:00.002-04:00

1. Catching up on my DVR'ing. A full DVR makes for a pauses and gaps, stay up on the DVR hygiene.

2. Throwing fluids in me and pissing every five minutes.

3. No work.

4. Creative cooking.

5. Taking a nap. Then taking another one because the first one made you more tired.

Favorite places to eat in Redford

2008-10-02T10:40:00.001-04:00

1. Sandy's

2. Mama Mia's

3. Donutown

Things I hate in my life

2008-09-30T16:17:00.002-04:00

With the firing of Matt Millen and the "retirement" of Todd Jones, I have to update my list of things I hate in life.

1. Shaving

2. Wearing a tie

3. Wes Brown

4. Uninformed youth soccer parents

Things I hate about youth soccer

2008-09-29T10:40:00.001-04:00

1. The parents. They are a stain on the game.

2. The rules for u9. Goal kicks are from a punt and that punt can't go over midfield.

3. Referee inconsistency.

4. The parents.

Things I enjoyed over the weekend

2008-09-29T10:36:00.002-04:00

1. Friends coming for my birthday

2. Being outside for a lot of it.

3. I somehow got to watch college football, the best spectator sport

4. The Tiger's season almost being over

5. chicks in hats

Soccer Road Trips

2008-09-23T13:26:00.002-04:00

Been uber busy lately with work, soccer, etc. Anway, we just went to southern Illinois for a soccer trip. Here's what I love about them:

1. Senses of humor of our players. They are a riot.

2. Have to be on the bus for six hours, 12 round trip. Cuts down on my ability to be responsible.

3. Eating out. That loses its luster after a while.

4. Listening to my iPod. Saul Williams "Inevitable Rise and Fall of Niggy Tardust"; Flogging Molly "Within a mile of home"; Lady of Rage "Necessary Roughness"

5. Listening to the story of one of our African players. Born in Conakry, Guinea and living in Willow Run. He read his Microeconomics book the whole way there and smiled at me every time I checked on him. He's trying.

NYC

2008-09-10T08:46:00.002-04:00

Went to New York City last weekend for soccer. Got bump around Manhattan and what not. Things I noticed/enjoyed, which I will add to over the day:

1. Everyone was surprisingly nice. Except one person....the cop I asked for directions. Bizarre.

2. The size. You could live there your whole life and still not see it all.

3. How nondescript Madison Square Garden was. Just a building among many others.

4. Speed. Everyone is operating at Mach 3.

things I enjoy lately

2008-08-28T11:37:00.003-04:00

1. chicks in hats

2. Sharon Little

3. Premier League started

4. 9 year olds who tell too long stories at my practice.

5. The color navy blue.

What's fun about coaching college kids

2008-08-25T15:04:00.002-04:00

1. athletic use of the f-bomb

2. same personalities as my team of nine year olds

3. they enjoy being coached

4. given a food allowance at TGI Friday's, it is awesome to see the creative ordering.

Creepy things about the Olympics

2008-08-18T13:10:00.002-04:00

1. Michael Phelps' ears. And his uncanny resemblance to Eli Manning.

2. Bela Karolyi. He's awkward in the studio, he's a tough lingerer, creepy.

3. Chinese gymnasts and their ages.

4. Gender identification in these games.

Places I ate at in Chicago

2008-08-11T16:08:00.002-04:00

1. Duke's on Clark Street

2. Nancy's Pizza

3. Smoque

Also spent time at the Lincoln Park Zoo and Navy Pier.

More hump day enjoyments

2008-08-06T08:17:00.002-04:00

1. Unicorns

2. Always Sunny in Philadelphia Comic-Con panel

3. The nice story that Eduardo has a target date for returning. If you want to see the picture of his foot after that tackle, click the link....be careful, it ain't cool. Even though he plays for Arsenal, I hope he makes it, he showed some flair for scoring in important matches.

4. WTF?

Hump day enjoyments

2008-07-23T14:02:00.003-04:00

Been Busy lately.

1. Loved Heath Ledger in Dark Knight, not for sentimental reasons, he was genuinely creepy.

2. I have been reading John Connolly's The Reapers and have been enjoying it. Also been working through ZZ Packer's Drinking Coffee Elsewhere and like the first two stories.

3. One Day as a Lion - he's back people, walk softly.

4. Mike and Ikes. I love these things. Been eating them since undergrad, and I will never stop.

5. Hulu.com. Making it less cloak and dagger while watching tv at work.

Last 10 on my "to read" list

2008-07-17T12:36:00.002-04:00

Confessions of a Whitehouse Ghostwriter – James Humes

On Writing – Stephen King

A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius – Dave Eggers

Black Water – Joyce Carol Oates

Birds of America – Lorrie Moore

Possession – A.S. Byatt

Slight Trick of the Mind – Mitch Cullen

Edward Bunker books

Water for Elephants – Sara Gruen

Letters to a Young Poet - Rainer Rilke

Things I've enjoyed this weekend and Monday

2008-07-15T10:01:00.002-04:00

1. Don Hertzfeldt

2. Bo Burnham and his new video about high school parties

3. Generation Kill, the series on HBO, the book was great.

4. King of California

5. The Waitress was New

6. ESPN's ombudsman taking the World Wide Leader to task again this month.

Fridays

2008-07-11T11:15:00.003-04:00

Favorite things about Fridays:

1. O.J.'s chase was on a Friday.

2. Friday the 13th's history.

3. When the EPL is going, its the day I research which games I care about on Saturdays.

4. No work is done....NONE.

5. It is pizza night in 68% of the universes households. True Fact.

National Team Questions

2008-07-08T15:18:00.003-04:00

1. Will I finally think Landon Donovan is the real deal? (shoulder shrug).

2. Will Freddy Adu step up and be the player we need in the middle?

3. The back four is never solidified, and that REALLY bothers me.

4. If we are going to play a style that takes advantage of our wide players, we need a target man that is good in the air. Brian Ching is not the answer on the international stage.

5. How will Sven manage the Mexican team and will it make a difference?

Fourth of July enjoyments

2008-07-07T12:43:00.002-04:00

1. Finished the Diving Bell and the Butterfly (book version).

2. I really liked Stranger than Fiction with Will Ferrell. I'm still trying to figure it out.

3. The Tigers and the pitching staff sort of waking up, teases, all of them.

4. Nadal/Federer

5. Ate at my favorite restaurant, Slow's BB-Q.

Questions I have

2008-06-30T12:39:00.002-04:00

1. Has anyone found the German midfield and the artist formerly known as Philip Lahm? Both were missing yesterday.

2. Would Sloane Crosley even say hi to me?

3. Why is caffeine so addictive? Cripes.

4. Elizabeth Banks - hot or not?

5. What was my fifth question?

Things I've enjoyed this week

2008-06-26T14:33:00.002-04:00

1. All six seasons of the Highlander are on Hulu.com now. AWESOME (said in a sing song voice).

2. Watching the Turkish national soccer team make their run through the Euro and getting up ended by Germany.

3. Bo Burnham

4. Arrested Development gag reels on youtube.

5. Re-watching Clark and Michael.

Books and music this week

2008-06-25T15:31:00.002-04:00

1. Resolution (Robert Parker) - his second effort at a western, not bad, but follows the pattern of his other series.

2. Nothing to Lose (Lee Child) - the latest in the Reacher series, quality.

3. G Love and the Special Sauce - The Best of

4. Kavinsky - 1986

Your kid sucks

2008-06-18T10:42:00.003-04:00

These are the following ways I articulated to parents that their child did not make the top team in the under 9 age group, basically a bunch of incantations of "your kid sucks."

1. Slow situational recognition. (player coming at him, your kid stood there and did nothing, jerk)

2. Technical decision making, i.e. choosing the wrong surface to receive a ball, whiffing on a "kick."
(your kid received a pass with his shin, not his foot. No one does anything with their shin, except your kid)

3. "Your son falls victim to the top 11 eleven players having a greater possession of athleticism."
(your kid can not play the game of soccer, no matter how much you tell him he is good)

4. Lack of aggression. (your kid is a pussy)

Soccer Tryouts

2008-06-16T09:11:00.002-04:00

I coach an under 9 boys team and we had tryouts this weekend, here's what I love about that process.

1. Kids crying. Always a good time.

2. Pushy parents. Your child is 8. What he does now has little bearing on where he will be going to college...and your child is 8.

3. The ability for sun to penetrate SPF 45, stubborn star, that sun.

4. Allowing 8 year olds to rule my life, fantastic for the self-esteem

5. Joint pain. I'm only 28.

Last 3 books I read

2008-06-12T10:56:00.002-04:00

1. Snuff (Chuck Palahniuk) - better than his last two efforts, which I did not even finish.

2. Peace (Richard Bausch) - short book, can be read in one day, morality, suspicion, I enjoyed it.

3. Phantom Prey (John Sandford) - latest installment of the Lucas Davenport series, it dealt with schizophrenia.

Least Favorite Detroit Sports People

2008-06-11T12:28:00.002-04:00

1. Matt Millen - be a long time until he falls from this spot

2. Ford Family - not only a family history of getting along with lunatics, but they are so stubborn with the retainment of the number one person on this list.

3. Todd Jones - apparently he can't close a game out until he lets a couple of guys get on base.

4. Rasheed Wallace - Regular season stud, play-off dud. That line was as terrible as his play.

Euro Likes

2008-06-11T11:38:00.003-04:00

1. Spain's tandem forward play. Against the U.S. last week, Spain looked uninspired in attack and it took a special moment from Xavi. Not so against Russia. Torres and Villa where majestic. They were never flat, there was fearlessness, well done. I hope they keep it up.

2. Ibrahimovic's strike against Greece. Technical and lethal.

3. Holland in transition to offense. I'm speaking specifically of Sneijder's goal.

4. The comedy of Holland's desperate defending...and they still didn't give up a goal.

Music I'm supposed to like but I don't

2008-06-09T13:08:00.002-04:00

1. Radiohead

2. Coldplay

3. Beatles (Yes, I said it.)

4. Bob Dylan.

West Wing

2008-06-04T15:45:00.002-04:00

I'm re-watching the first season of the West Wing and here are few things I enjoy about it:

~Dr. Cuddy from House is a high class call girl. Awesome.

~Josh Lyman (Bradley Whitford) and his sardonic nature

~My strange attraction to C.J. Craig (Allison Janney).

~Lord John Marbury played by the dude who played Robin Colcord (Roger Rees)

Wings Game 5 bothers

2008-06-03T09:21:00.002-04:00

1. I have never let a 23-year-old French Canadian guy upset me so much until last night.

2. If I find a 24-year-old Czech Republic center man roaming the streets of Detroit, I will punch in the potato sack.

3. Time between periods. Just keep playing. No breaks.

4. Marc Andre Fleury's glove hand...and left toe...asshole.

Things I want

2008-06-02T13:51:00.002-04:00

1. To be able to to get up without effort noises.

2. To make nose picking socially acceptable.

3. For all public places with an implied sense of quiet to abolish cell phones....and enforce it.

4. I want "maybe" to mean "yes" again.

Summer Shows I'm Looking Forward To

2008-05-30T08:24:00.002-04:00

1. Burn Notice

2. Mad Men

3. Weeds - I have a pure and unadulterated crush on Mary-Louise Parker

4. I'm intrigued by In Plain Sight, not sure if I'll make an effort though

Listening to this week

2008-05-29T16:49:00.003-04:00

1. Blackalicious - Blazing Arrow

2. Matisyahu - Live at Stubbs

3. Gaelic Storm - Special Reserve

4. Citizen Cope - Citizen Cope

Books waiting for me or ones I'm reading

2008-05-27T13:42:00.002-04:00

1. Book of Other People - Zadie Smith

2. Book Theif - Markus Zusak

3. Snuff - Chuck Palahniuk

4. The Finder - Colin Harrison

Things I loved about the Champions League Final

2008-05-22T15:34:00.003-04:00

~Paul Scholes got a medal, combined well with Wes Brown to get the second assist on the first goal, and apparently went and consoled the Chelsea players before celebrating the win.

~The effort of Carlos Teves. Unbelievable how hard this man works.

~Watching Drogba fail. Asshole.

~Watching Anelka fail. Bigger asshole.

~Watching Ballack play. It looks like he's not trying, but he is, and it's a joy to watch someone so technical in the center of the park.

~Anderson got a sniff of the game and banged in a PK. He's only 20 and hopefully he'll be here for a long time.

Champions League watch out for's

2008-05-20T12:28:00.002-04:00

~ How will Rio and Vidic will handle the best one front player in the world, Didier Drogba. This is his last chance to audition for a huge pay day out of Chelsea.

~ Man U midfield and who starts. Scholes gets the nod for missing the '99 on yellow card accumulation. Carrick just signed an extension and even though he looks awkward, proves effective in distribution. Depending on how Man U lines up in the front line, there's Nani, Ronaldo, Giggs, Park, Hargreaves, Fletcher (he'll be a sub).

~ Avram Grant and how he deals with the big stage. He has a chip on his shoulder based on Mourniho leaving, so how he reacts will be interesting to watch.

~ Rooney's temperament. His mouth and his frustration level will be a small subplot if they both get out of hand.

~ Clogged midfield. Some of the best midfield players in the world will be on display, with little room to operate, enjoy that. If Makalele gets in, watch the greatest holding midfielder ever.

Best Categorical Players in the World

2008-04-21T15:46:00.002-04:00

Best Player: Steven Gerrard (Liverpool/England) - best player, attacking, defending, transition, leadership, crunch time. I would want no one else in a big moment.

Best Attacking Player: Cristiano Ronaldo (Manchester United/Portugal) - This was probably the easiest one to pick.

Best Defending Player: Ricardo Carvalho (Chelsea/Portugal) - but would listen to others, albeit with slim attention paid. Alessandro Nesta (AC Milan/Italy) comes to mind.

Best Goalie: Gianluigi Buffon (Juventus/Italy) - Probably until he dies. I'd listen to arguments for Iker Casillas (Real Madrid/Spain), Edwin van der Sar (Manchester United/Netherlands), and Brad Friedel (Blackburn/USA (retired)).

Best Manager: Jose Mourinho (Free Agent) - All he does is win.

Best Passer: Cesc Fabregas (Arsenal/Spain) - begrudgingly, but his vision is impeccable.

Look up videos on youtube, I didn't feel like linking.

Things I've liked in the last ten days or so

2008-04-15T16:34:00.002-04:00

1. Kristen Bell - she's local, hot, and funny. Can't help myself.

2. Audrey Tautou - she's French, hot, and funny. Can't help myself.

3. Revisiting spoken word artists Shihan and Anis Mojgani.

4. Owen Hargreaves and this dumbfounding free kick.

5. Big Bang Theory - not sure if I'm ashamed that I like the writing on this show.

My one and only NCAA March (and april) Madness post

2008-03-28T15:30:00.003-04:00

Just your standard lifetime memories of the tourney

1. Bryce Drew game winner - elicited a shriek from me

2. Watching Chris Webber call the nonexistent timeout. I just shook my head.

3. Teddy Dupay the criminal try to shatter the ankle of Mateen. Douche-cock. (around 1:30 in the video)

Five songs I'm obsessed with on my iPod II

2008-03-11T12:26:00.002-04:00

1. Xavier Nadoo/RZA - Beauty of One

2. Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova - Falling Slowly

3. Van Halen - Take me Back/Deja Vu

4. Neil Young - Ohio

5. Snow Patrol - Shut Your Eyes

Favorite times of day

2008-02-20T16:48:00.004-05:00

1. 5:04pm – usually in my car, just out of work, farting a thunderous funk that has been bottled in me since after lunch.

1:15pm-ish – walking to where ever I am getting lunch…watching the students stomp off to class all mad and pressured, talking on their i-whatevers, shoveling junk food down their throats. SHEEP.
8:36am-ish – when I usually click on my first movie/tv show at work and get to participating in some high fun research. Feel the excitement.

Favorite Daniel Day-Lewis characters

2008-02-13T12:50:00.002-05:00

1. Gerry Conlon/In the Name of the Father - I'm a sucker for father/son relationships and this movie typifies that.

2. Bill "the Butcher" Cutting/Gangs of New York - One of the more vicious characters created.

3. Daniel Plainview/There Will be Blood - This movie would have been boring as shit if he wasn't in it.

4. Hawkeye (Nathaniel Poe)/Last of the Mohicans - other than the cheesy "I will find you!" line, the quiet warrior is a legendary character.

5. Danny Flynn/The Boxer - a man tries to change, but people are reticent.

Four Majors in Day-Twa

2008-02-12T09:43:00.000-05:00

This was the hardest one I've done in so far...and I will change it again sometime today.

1. Detroit Lions - I'm a masochist. Coincidentally, Matt Millen is my least favorite person in Detroit Sports.

2. Detroit Tigers - I miss Ernie Harwell, but you can watch these guys anytime, and I love knowing that in the summer, I can go home and do that.

3. Detroit Red Wings - They just keep plugging along being one of the best run organizations in professional sports, with two of the best young forwards in the game.

4. Detroit Pistons - I might be taking this team for granted.

The plaque for the alternates is in the ladies room

2008-01-29T14:33:00.000-05:00

My favorite Buckeye second place finishes in the last year or so:

1. Men's Soccer - a hard fought battle, so close, no dice.

2. Men's Basketball- who could've beaten them? Florida was a team of destiny, and there is no shame in second place...again....and your coach's name is Thad.

3. Men's Football (2007) - I think when LSU's free safety came on a disguised blitz and ran that 30 yards in 1.5 seconds....the shit was written on the wall...again...ask the basketball team how to cope.

4. Men's Football (2006) - hard to stop another criminal from beating you...they were faster...and help next years team, they will fail again.

If I missed one, let me know, I'd hate to ignore a team from that cosmopolitan institution, meanwhile, call Jim/Marv/Thurman(al), they will be able to handle this distressing feeling.

Best books this month

2008-01-22T10:28:00.000-05:00

1. The Absolutely True Story of a Part-Time Indian (Sherman Alexie) - Mr. Alexie comes into another genre with grace and humor. It's a YA novel, but he does it so well. A lot of big-time authors are trying YA (James Patterson, Nick Hornby, Joyce Carol Oates) and it is paying off, it challenges readers of that age, but also the writers.

2. Collected Stories (Leonard Michaels) - Dark humor, shorter, very, very good.

3. Pastorlia and CivilWarLand in Bad Decline (George Saunders) - Maybe the greatest satirist alive and writing right now.

Five songs I'm obssessed with on my iPod

2008-01-11T14:33:00.000-05:00

1. Girl Like You - Smithereens

2. My City was Gone - Pretenders

3. Shut Your Eyes - Snow Patrol

4. Down By the River - Dave Matthews and Tim Reynolds

5. Shipping up to Boston - Dropkick Murphy's

Chick celebs I dig this week

2008-01-09T13:40:00.000-05:00

1. Zooey Daschanel - Quirky, funny, and the kind of eyes that make you stutter.

2. Blake Lively - It's the smile.

3. Sarah Shahi - Hot...so hot. That's all I'll say.

4. Missy Peregrym - Ridiculous athlete, great smile, laid back personality.

Movies in the last month I liked

2008-01-07T08:15:00.000-05:00

1. Juno - Michael Cera is my hero, so that was easy for me. But I think the performance of the movie is Jason Bateman.

2. No Country for Old Men - I will never call another coin flip in my life.

3. Charlie Wilson's War - Philip Seymour Hoffman, again, is great.

4. I am Legend - I don't like Sci-Fi, I don't normally like Will Smith (save Ali), but I liked this.

My favorite movie villains

2007-12-21T15:21:00.000-05:00

1. Hannibal Lecter
2. Anton Chigurh
3. Joker (I'm putting Heath Ledger's here b/c it looks fucking scary in the trailer)
4. Edward I (Edward the Longshanks)
5. Referee in Victory, fucking cheater
6. Commodus

Voltron

2007-12-17T14:17:00.000-05:00

My college roommate, nickname "The Clems," came up with this list in a furious day of emailing amongst five or six guys:

Top Five Voltron characters:

1. Voltron.

Best French Fries

2007-12-13T14:31:00.000-05:00

1. Wendy's - soft and fluffy, absorbs ketchup well, love 'em.

2. Rally's - spicy and soft, like I like my women...wait.

3. Olga's - the curly fries, so good and they give you a lot. Partners well with the Three Cheese pita thingy.

4. Micro Magic Fries - pair these with Hormel's beanless chili....summamuhbitch, those are good.

5. Tie between the plate o' fries at Outback and Ruby Tuesday. Love them...they're probably good enough for a meal, but they are an appetizers, so I get a meal afterwards. Fatty McSloppy.

High School football teams on tv/movies

2007-12-11T12:50:00.000-05:00

I was gone for a bit, personal issues, suck it.

1. Friday Night Lights (TV) (Dillon Panthers) – This is the best team…hands down. I know Smash is the talent, but this team lives and dies with Riggins, who's the best pure football player in this list.

2. Varsity Blues (West Canaan) – The loss of Lance Harbor was scary, but the Mox came through. Though, Tweeder may give some people problems…he’s like Wes Welker. This team is second b/c they won without a coach in the second half. That's impressive.

3. Remember the Titans (T.C. Williams High School) – Bertier, Sunshine, Julius, two very capable coaches, petey, lastik…this is a good football team people, they even overcame adversity Permian, pay attention. If Petey can keep the fumbles under control and they can overcome the loss of Bertier, this team could repeat. Sunshine is Tony Romo before Tony Romo was Tony Romo…he’s left handed though, so maybe he’s Steve Young…and grows up to be Jimmy Bly, one of the best Formula 1 drivers in the world.

4. Friday Night Lights (movie) (Permian Panthers) – This team was all Boobie Miles. Quarterback was average; fullback was no Tim Riggins, and Billy Bob Thorton is unconvincing as the football coach, and lost the state final…get it done…don’t care if it’s based on a true story, you have to overcome that kind of adversity.

5. Gridiron Gang (Camp Kilpatrick) – This team didn’t have a chance, they have other things to worry than the forming a competitive football team. But they win a game, so yay for them, they’re last on this list. They wouldn’t even have a chance if the Rock and Xzibit suited up.

Two favorite pseudo-nephews

2007-11-19T16:11:00.000-05:00

Tie:

1. Brock Rigley and Gavin Gillard

Things I want to learn

2007-11-14T15:21:00.000-05:00

1. Play the bagpipes

2. Play the violin

3. Learn Chinese (any form)

4. Learn Krav Maga and/or Eskrima

updated

2007-11-13T09:17:00.000-05:00

I updated the poets link below and added Tony Hoagland and Ted Kooser.

Pizza

2007-11-12T15:53:00.000-05:00

1. Know this: the Hungry Howie's at 7 mile and Inkster was the best pizza in the history of ever. Deal with it, no arguments will be accepted. Now, it ain't so good, but for about six years there (1995-2001), whatever they were doing, it was special. So it gets the top spot on nostalgia reasons.

2. Murphy's Law (Augsburg, Germany) - it's thin and I think this might be based on atmosphere as well because they show soccer all the time, the place is full of young people and many American ex patriots, including one named Shaggy, from Saginaw.

3. Giordano's in Chicago. You can order before you get a table, which is neat-o.

4. Pizza Papalis - The best one is in Greektown, Detroit. It's the same style as Giordano's (not just the deep dish, but the way it looks, everything).

5. Main Street Pizza (Plymouth, MI) - this is new for me, but the deep dish is splendastic. Kind of like.....

6. Buddy's.

Reference Desk conversation topics

2007-11-09T08:36:00.000-05:00

These are the memorable topics covered last night while working the reference desk with a comically unfiltered female colleague:

1. pap smears - I have no idea what this is.

2. cervical cancer and the HPV shots.

3. Breasts.

I had a furrowed brow most of the night.

Artists

2007-11-07T09:29:00.000-05:00

1. Mark Rothko - simple.

2. Renee Magritte - he's funny, hee hee

3. Joan Miro - crazy

Poets I Like

2007-11-05T12:39:00.000-05:00

Been a while, these (as the title indicates) are the poets I like.

1. Seamus Heaney - The poem Mid-Term Break is the one that got my attention. He seems like he's in the exact spots he describes.

2. Michael Ryan - there's a sarcastic uncle quality about him

3. Emily Dickinson - two poems: My Life had Stood a Loaded Gun and Such is the Force of Happiness

4. Tony Hoagland - his poem, Jet is a great example, as is Reading Moby Dick at 30,000 Feet

5. Ted Kooser - read A Happy Birthday and Dishwater

Experiences in high school (one from each year)

2007-10-25T20:11:00.001-04:00

Freshman – Redford Union vs. Trenton…the Rumble Downriver. Chris got tackled hard, Mark stuck for him, Scott took a 30 yard run up and Scud missiled the whole group…I stood at midfield, 14 years old, and watched my first real, live, brawl.

Sophmore – Game winning field goal against Truman

Junior – does anyone remember their junior year?

Senior – Spring Break, Mr. Union, and Mrs. Miller teaching us out of the wrong book for a whole class period.

Favorite Spoken Word Artists

2007-10-22T16:05:00.000-04:00

1. Saul Williams

2. Rives and another one

3. Beau Sia

4. Suheir Hammad

5. Jason Carney

6. Staceyann Chin - (allow to load and fast forward to 3:35) It really is a performance....with an easy to define message.

Bonus:

Jill Scott on Def Poetry

Avery Brooks on Def Poetry doing a monologue from an Ossie Davis work.

Places I’ve been to in Europe

2007-10-19T12:37:00.000-04:00

Champions League (Bayern Munich vs. Arsenal) – Olympic Stadium/Munich, Germany. I got to see Thierry Henry in person, I sat 20 feet from a well dressed Michael Ballack (anyone ever seen him actually play?), Boris Becker and the Chancellor of Bavaria, whatever that means. I got to sit in the VIP seats thanks to a hook up from a supplier to my buddy, and I got to spend that game with my buddy. Easily a top five life moment.
Murphy’s Law – Augsburg, Germany. I watched Real Madrid vs. AC Milan in this bar with the three guys who will stand up in my wedding and the now JL(B). The bar was divided in half by the supporters and it was loud, Zidane was on the field, the pizza was other worldly, awesome awesome experience. And we kept going back the other three times I visited.
That restaurant in Padova (Padua), Italy – a very friendly place in the back alleys of Padova with the three guys who will stand up in my wedding and the now JL(B), the owner would not stop bringing food out, apparently the wine was good, the grappa was apparently devastating, and the meat was 99% raw. The owner told my buddy he didn’t even know how to pronounce his Italian last name correctly, then promptly pronounced it the right way. I loved all of it.
Queen’s Day - Amsterdam, Holland. This was stumble on event. We had five hours to kill on a lay over to Munich and we took the train into downtown and ran into Queen’s Day, apparently a celebration to imbibe, wander around, and be proud to be Dutch. The Red Light District is not as cool during the day, but it still was kind of creepy….and awesome.
Edinburgh, Scotland – the whole city was awesome, after ML and JL(B) left to go back to Augsburg, K and I went back to New Town so she could shop and I could hold bags. We ran into an art gallery, Washington Green, that had some unique, fun stuff. Old Town was the best part and I can’t recommend the city enough.
Isle of Skye – Highlands of Scotland. We saw some Highland Games, experienced some serious British Isles rain, couldn’t understand a word of English, and enjoyed the scenery.

Things I hate in my life

2007-10-18T16:39:00.000-04:00

1. Shaving

2. Wearing a tie

3. Matt Millen

4. Our internal database at work

Actors who I think have the worst shits in the history of ever

2007-10-17T15:52:00.001-04:00

1. Scott L. Schwartz - he's just a big hairy bastard of a man and when I saw him in the Ocean's films, I immediately though, "THAT guy knows how to stink up a bathroom."

2. Matthew McConaughey - he's one of those earthy organic naturalists who doesn't shower and what not, you just know there's some damage caused in the porcelain chair of relaxation

3. Gary Busey - Have you seen him? He's a lunatic. Everything that comes out of him (words, bodily stuff) has to be crazy. Especially his shit.

4. Orson Welles - My man was crotchety and over 3Bills, I'm sure he was devastating.

5. Wayne Knight - Newman has to uncork ruinous rapture in the toilet.

6. Marie Osmand - This woman is on so many prescription drugs, the colors coming out of her must be make Crayola interested.

My favorite supporting comedic characters

2007-10-16T15:06:00.000-04:00

Stipulation - assuming there is only one main character in the show

1. George Michael/Michael Cera (Arrested Development) - All about the awkward comments/pausing/fearlessness

2. Dr. Cox/John C. McGinley (Scrubs) - Calling JD by a girls name, extended monologues, language experimentation, it's all there

3. Doug Wilson/Kevin Nealon (Weeds) - His utter lack of tact and complete selfishness in comments

4. Keith/Ewan MacIntosh (Office UK) - Listen, fat is funny sometimes and that guy makes it very funny. Plus his Halloween costume as Ali G was great.

5. Bert "Sock" Wysocki/Tyler Labine (Reaper) - He's a loyal asshole full of bastard funniness.

6. Vince Masuka/C.S. Lee (Dexter) - His very unveiled sexual comments to Deborah are brilliant.

I win the lottery, I live in these places

2007-10-11T08:36:00.001-04:00

1. Houseboat in Amsterdam, Holland/Netherlands/Dutchland - Red Light District, the shangri la of awkward situations

2. Edinburgh, Scotland - The city is split into two parts, Old Town and strangely, New Town. Both are aptly labeled and awesome.

3. Chicago - Great sports city, deep dish pizza, and Goose Island Root Beer.

4. Seattle - I love sweatshirt and jeans weather and though I have never been there, that seems like the weather all the time there.

5. San Diego. I can't think of a reason, but I felt like I needed a place in California.

Guys I'd be okay with my girlfriend leaving me for

2007-10-09T16:52:00.000-04:00

1. Brian Urlacher - what am I going to do if I say no? Out logic him?

2. Brad Pitt - even I would.

3. Chuck Palahniuk - the first rule about stealing your girlfriend: Never talk about me stealing your girlfriend.

4. Tom Brady - we're all under his spell

Lids

2007-10-08T16:50:00.001-04:00

1. My faded adidas cap, a weathered stone hue, brim material falling apart, I'll be buried with it.

2. Green fidel, for when I don't want to support any one team/company

3. Simple red Red Wings hat, also faded, and maybe.....MAYBE, disgusting

4. My Rage Against the Machine hat, navy blue, yellow writing

5. Navy blue Pistons hat, simple logo on the front

Favorite Shows (Subject to change)

2007-10-05T12:59:00.000-04:00

1. Office - consistently funny, and in the absence of the original (the superior in my opinion), this suffices.

2. Dexter - Michael C. Hall is great as is Jennifer Carpenter. Based on the Jeff Lindsay novels, the show is great with tension.

3. Californication - David Duchovny's character is well written and snarky, plus there are a lot of chesticles.

4. Reaper - the premise is great and so is Missy Peregrym. But the real highlight is Tyler Labine.

5. EPL Review Show

Favorite Rage songs

2007-10-04T11:01:00.000-04:00

1. Freedom (self titled album)

2. Bulls on Parade (Evil Empire)

3. Calm like a bomb (Battle of Los Angeles)

4. Ghost of Tom Joad (Renegades)

5. Hadda be playing on the jukebox (Live and Rare)

Farts

2007-10-03T16:15:00.003-04:00

Communications Wipe-out - walking in front of cell phone guy and dropping silent lethality
Appetizer – the bomb that fights its way out before trouble begins, usually leading to said trouble
Dr. Doolittle – the one that makes the pet in your house pick their head up and give a quizzical look
The Wave – the one when sitting on a bench and your teammates feel it all the way down.
Controlled Chaos/Crop Dusting – at the office, have to get up and leave a wake of horror as you walk around.

Favorite Characters of the CSI Franchise

2007-10-02T16:39:00.000-04:00

1. Horatio Caine/David Caruso (CSI Miami) -- So bad it's good. The opening sequenci with the sunglasses and the crappy lines, brilliance, makes me weep openly.

2. Detective Danny Messer/Carmine Giovinazzo (CSI NY) -- New York attitude, and the awful wife beater he's wearing in his IMDB picture.

3. Dr. Sid Hammerbeck/Robert Joy (CSI NY) -- Only b/c of his awesome glasses that split at his nose for removal.

4. Lady Heather/Melinda Clarke (CSI LV) -- She's a dominatrix.

5. Gil Grissom/William Peterson (CSI LV) -- Mostly for his awful performances in Fear and Manhunter (the original Red Dragon), but also b/c he had a thing with Lady Heather (see #4).

Burgers

2007-10-01T15:39:00.000-04:00

Here's how I take my burger: medium, swiss (any white cheese, if not available), ketchup, hold the vegetables. Here's my list of metro Detroit, and if you got another place for me to try, list it for me. Other than Hermann's, the links take you to the map of the location.

1. Hamlin's (Lake Orion and Rochester Hills are the two I've patronized). Double points for the soccer games they show.

2. Hermann's Old Town Grille (Plymouth, MI); atmosphere is awesome, staff is great, and they have a giant moose head on the wall.

3. Sandy's by the Beach (Redford, MI) I'm biased, I grew up there, but it is awesome. No windows, that says enough, and so does the candy tub in the main dining room.

4. J. Alexander's (Livonia, MI) It appears classy, but don't be fooled, the burger is good. They give you ketchup in a small tin thing, though, so that sucks.

5. Champps (Livonia, MI) Great burger, waffle fries, and a lot of damn tv's with sports on. I hear the potato soup is good as well.

6. Mason's (Livonia, MI) No windows again, I love that. No nonsense place, people leave you alone, I recommend it after a loss in any competitive event.

7. Mr. G's back yard. I won't list his address, it's a premium burger though.

Favorite soccer players

2007-09-28T14:23:00.000-04:00

1. Paul Scholes - calm, cool, great distributor, stayed with one team his whole career

2. Michael Essien - he's a bull with skill, great shot, does what is asked of him (see: playing right back last season)

3. Ruud Van Nistelrooy - the ultimate goal poacher

4. Cesc Fabregas - see Scholes

5. Robbie Keane - Fiery, needs to be on the field

Slacker novels

2007-09-27T16:02:00.000-04:00

I think more than any other medium, books provide the greatest avenue for debate, discussion, etc. I love all these books below and if you don't, suck it.

1. Straight Man - Richard Russo

2. High Fidelity - Nick Hornby

3. Con Ed - Matthew Klein

4. Book of Joe - Jonathan Tropper

5. Love Monkey - Kyle Smith

Tom Cruise movies I hate myself for watching when they are on

2007-09-26T14:59:00.001-04:00

1. Top Gun - One two punch b/c Val Kilmer is in this...and he may get his own list.

2. Far and Away - For that spot-on Irish accent (See also: John Malkovich's Russian accent in Rounders)

3. Vanilla Sky - Cameron Diaz gets almost nekkid and because you want the movie to be good, only it isn't.

4. Eyes Wide Shut - Nicole Kidman gets nekkid. And it's Kubrick, even if it's bad, it's still Kubrick.

5. Magnolia - "Respect the cock!"

Man Crushes (let's just get this out of the way)

2007-09-25T14:33:00.000-04:00

1. Jason Bourne (not Matt Damon, he's a turd). Jason Bourne will kill you dead.

2. Kirk Herbstreit. As Gina (long "i") said in 40 Year-old Virgin, "...you have nice soft feminine features, it'd be an easy transition"

3. Michael Scofield (Wentworth Miller). He's one of them there smart people.

4. Jim Gaffigan. (falsetto voice) Why does he do so many jokes with his pants off?

5. Lisa Lampanelli. Should be a man.

6. Your mom.

Athlete Crushes (subject to change)

2007-09-25T12:19:00.000-04:00

1. Heather O'reilly - US National Women's Soccer Team

2. Gretchen Bleiler - snowboarder

3. Sue Bird - basketball

4. Biba Golic - table tennis, yes, table tennis.

5. Lokelani McMichael - triathlete

Office Hot List (characters, not actors) in order

2007-09-25T11:39:00.000-04:00

Look the first two are no brainers, it's the order that sparks heated congressional debate and domestic arguments that lead to sleeping in the garage out of spite.

1. Rashida Jones/Karen - I love her snarkiness and power suits

2. Jenna Fischer/Pam - I love the top of the head hair pull back thing, and she's super cute.

3. Melora Hardin/Jan - the new boobs and the masochistic nature of being with a (sing song voice) PSYCHO. And she's a great cougar to add to the list.

4. Angela Kinsey/Angela - there is sometimes something sexy about the uptight woman, plus she's patient, she's dating Dwight

5. Kate Flannery/Meredith - She's a drunk and easy. It's like college.

6. Mindy Kaling/Kelly - This is really b/c she's kind of hot, but also b/c her breasticle popped out at some award show last year in real life, that's hard to ignore even if I have to not count it..

7. Phyllis Smith/Phyllis - she married into money (Bob Vance), so that's a bonus.

8. Karly Rothenberg/Madge - She works in the warehouse and often gets mistaken by Michael as a guy. That should be enough.

Also:
Nancy Walls/Carol (Steve Carrell's real life spouse)

Amy Adams/Katy

Listened to while typing: Neil Young's Live at Massey Hall